Untitled

Written yesterday (19th January 2017)

When you feel like you're sinking
because you've almost sunk before.
When what you want most of all
Is to walk out of the door.

When the cycle starts again
and you're sinking 'to despair
When it's happened before
And nobody was there

When you feel like you're drowning
When you thought you'd start to swim

Because you'd let yourself believe

That positivity could win

You still feel like you're drowning

Like it's happening again
But this time, you are stronger
And you didn't have him then.

You think you're falling back
To seven years ago or more
Because it feels like it did
When you could not see the door.

When you wonder if it's just a test
To see how far you've come
When you know you've all you need
All can be overcome.

History repeats itself
It feels like another battle
You still think you're falling back
And find it hard to settle.

But the outcome will be different
Because this time, you believe in you
It still feels like you're climbing
But you know you will get through.

When Love Can Not Win

Why do I love them?
I can not explain
It hurts that I
Am not free to exclaim.

I do not like the others
They are not good people
But I can't say it
For fear of reprisal

Raised by a woman
Manipulative, evil
That's why they became
So thoughtless and hurtful

Not a hi or a thank you
For gifts we sent
Were they not good enough?
Is that what this meant?

But I do love the babies

Though they'll never know

Because hatred has won

So love can not show.

We never will hold them
We're not welcome there
They won't know our love
It's really not fair.

He loves them all
And he hurts and he fights
But they don't love him back
And that is not right.

She stopped them from loving him
She did so much wrong
But he thinks it's his fault
And it's been too long.

He can't get them back
Too much damage is done
If only he'd fought
When they were young.

This poem was originally written on my Facebook page (Sapphire M Ravenclaw), the coloured verse was added here.