Sorry

 Originally published 7th September 2025 on Vocal Media under the pen name Sapphire Ravenclaw.

I believed what you said

I trusted you

I believed I was safe with you

I trusted that you would still accept me

When I got things wrong or made no sense

I thought you could see it

I wasn't myself

I let myself believe you cared

I know it's my fault that I pushed you away

It was the last thing I intended

There are many reasons

But hard to explain

I have tried, but clearly I failed

I don't have the words to say how I feel

But I know I am losing control

I feel like I'm screaming

But nobody hears

I'll try to pretend that I'm OK

But it's been so long that I have not been

I don't know how to be who I was

I thought I had found me

I should have known better

Than to believe I had a true friend

I want to to give up, I'll never belong

I'm sorry for thinking I could

Would it hurt less or more

If I believed

That you were not being controlled?

Perhaps you can't see what's in front of you

I think you master knows that I can

I know I've been selfish

It wasn't meant

I needed someone to hear

'Though I try, I know I don't get things right

Please be there to catch me if I fall

Is It Too Late?

A free verse poem originally published 15th May 2025 on Vocal Media under the pen name Sapphire Ravenclaw

I don't know who I am

I have never known

How do I work it out?

Is it too late?

I feel nothing

I feel everything

I am empty, drained

I am full to bursting

No true friendships

No close bonds

How do I find them?

Is it too late?

Emotions evade me

I am overpowered

Love creeps up on me

I am confused

I am lonely

Company eludes me

Would anyone notice

If I wasn't here?

No confidante

So who do I ask?

Am I too much

Or not enough?

I try harder than is seen

I have tried to fit in

I never will

I don't know how

People are exhausting

But give me a choice

To be included

Is it too late?

I don't know who I am

I am not seen

I am too loud

I am too quiet

A background friend

If even that

Mostly unnoticed

There is no place for me

Not as confident

As you might think

The real me is hidden

From all but a few

There is more I want to say

I don't know how

I talk too much

But tell very little

I do it all

I do nothing

I am gone

You didn't see

Friendship

Friendships come in all shapes and sizes

Some long-term, some brief, and some surprises

I've never been great at making new friends

Maintaining relationships is not one of my strengths 

Life often has its ups and downs

Many a smile and many a frown 

While I try to be positive every day

There is a lot that is hidden away

Masking is hard, it takes its toll

On the mind, the body, and the soul

Friends have been there, one or two

Some really special, old or new

A long time ago, I was in a dark place

I saw no way out and had no space

An excellent friend, still wonderful now

Guided me when I didn't know how

Another may not know what he did for me

Talking, listening, and being good company

The smallest gesture has a huge impact

Remember this when you talk or act

 I wrote this earlier this week (I think it was Monday 6th January). Dedicated to my food love. It is meant as a song but, as I can't write music, it's identifying as a poem.

Restaurant Affair

We steal a kiss together

Hiding at the back of the cellar

We both know that this can't go anywhere 

We're sneaking around in the kitchen

Trying to make sure nobody's listening

We both know we risk getting caught

The creeping around, it excites me

But I'll lose everything if they find me

Having a restaurant affair

The chef almost started a fire

The food is burning, so's my desire

We both know we shouldn't be here

It's becoming an addiction

But not one that I want fixing

I know it needs to end soon

With every noodle devoured

With hot sauce or sweet and sour

Having a restaurant affair

Doo doooo be do be dooo

This popped up in a Facebook memory from 11th January 2013. It's to the tune of Mambo No. 5.

A little bit of tennis on the Wii

A little bit of drinking cups of tea

A little bit of Wordsworth in the book

A little linguistics, take a look

A little bit of lunch then I suppose

It'll be time to wash some clothes

A little bit of tv after noon

Then my little boys will be home soon...

Doo doooo be do be doooo...

Christmas 2024

I wrote this poem during the early hours of Christmas Day (25th December) 2024. It has also been shared on Vocal Media

Christmas tree and gifts. Image, taken 25/12/2024, is my own.

Christmas 2024

A very merry Christmas

To all our family and friends

Good wishes for the new year

And for happiness that never ends

For some, it's just another day

For others, an extravagant affair

A time for faith and contemplation

Small gatherings or big celebration

A time to give and share

We send our Christmas greetings

To our loved ones, far and near

We'll raise a glass for those we've lost

To the people who can't be here

Yuletide blessings are wished for you

Good tidings and greetings of the season

Old family traditions flowing

Or new ones budding and growing

A day of connection and cohesion

Blessed Yuletide, happy Wednesday

Merry Christmas, blessed be

All the best to all of you

From my menfolk and me

©Sapphire M. Ravenclaw 2024

Blessings of a Mother

This poem popped up in my Facebook memories from 22nd March 2022, which would have been Mothers' Day here in the UK.

I don't recall if 'Happy Mother's Day' was the title I gave it or just part of the full post. I have kept that in here while also giving a new title for this post.

Happy Mother's Day.

I have two boys

Grown up so well

Smart and capable

Loving and thoughtful

You make me proud

And always will.

I'm doubly blessed

With two bonus daughters

Thank you for welcoming me

For making my world so much bigger

Plus bonus granddaughters one, two, and three.

My mother is

This poem was written in 2010 by my eldest son. He was 10 years old at the time. It popped up in my Facebook memories, and I have decided to share it here.

My mother is

The sparkliest pearl in the deep blue sea

The loveliest cuddle in the room

The best source of warmth on Earth

My mother is

The precious diamond in a ring

A distant star out in space

A shining gem stone so bright it makes the ground light up

All I want to say is happy mother's day

Have a Happy New Year

I wish you all the best for 2023

And ask that light will balance the dark

May positivity lead the way

And you can leave your mark

Work towards that goal of yours

If that is your desire

Remember, though, that it's OK

If no goals you require

Aim high or low or in between 

Don't feel under pressure

Work on your dreams, if you so wish

But do it at your leisure

Again, I wish you all the best

Whatever that means for you

Hello 2023, goodbye 2022.