Lost

(I wrote this 31st October 2015. Title given today. This is another I'd written on Facebook and forgot until it appeared again in Memories).



You think it's a trivial matter
But this is breaking my heart
You think it's because of my past
Because you don't understand your part.

I thought I had finally found someone
To share in things that I wanted to do
But even though it's important to me
You won't let me do them with you.

I'll talk and you'll tell me I'm silly
While I'm crying on the inside
It wasn't too much to ask, I thought
I don't know what you're trying to hide.

All I asked was to be included
You said that I could be
But all I've had is excuses
And not meaning the things you say.

I've thought long and hard about this
Whether or not I should feel as I do
But the more we talk about it
The more I feel pushed away by you.

You don't know how I'm feeling
Although I have tried to say
I know you don't understand
But it's not about getting my way.

I asked you to prove something to me
You then showed the opposite's true
You'd sooner give up on something
Than include me in things you do.

We've talked and talked about it
But go in circles and get nowhere
The things you say don't make any sense
It seems you just don't want me there.

I don't know what the truth is
Because you keep changing your mind
Contradiction and excuses
That's all I seem to find.

You say you want more time together
So gave up something 'for me'
You stopped doing something I wanted to do
So we spend more time watching TV.

You keep telling me I'm silly
And that's why I don't always talk
I don't want to go over the same things
But I can't pretend it's OK any more.